A family isn’t just flesh & blood.

You can’t claim to be looking out for my best interests when best is defined by what you want for yourself. You can’t say I’m the worst embarrassment and expect me to heed your “advice.” You can’t claim I don’t care about the family when my siblings are the only reason I still show up. You can’t say I only use you for money when I’m self-sufficient.

A family isn’t just flesh & blood.

A family is made of the people who nurture you. Support you emotionally. Recognize that having your own life doesn’t mean that you’re abandoning them.

Parents aren’t supposed to gut you with manipulative lies. Parents aren’t supposed to call you an asshole or a cunt. Parents aren’t supposed to justify calling you those things because it’s out of disappointment and from loving you too much. Parents shouldn’t pray for you to fail, just to get the opportunity to say I told you so. Parents are supposed to apologize when they’ve done you wrong.

I know that I am loved.

I have the greatest family a person could hope to have: my boyfriend, my siblings, my friends, and extended family.

The people who brought me into this world loathe everything that makes me who I am as an adult. I don’t need their approval. I don’t need their money. They’re grasping at straws.

A family isn’t just flesh and blood.

It’s who has your back (and vice versa).

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25 thoughts on “A family isn’t just flesh & blood.

      • Hugs… sorry to hear about that… Family can be toxic… I’ve only sort of come to terms with the family drama in my life since becoming a mom. I’m very close to my immediate family… it’s the extended ones that are a bit toxic. I’m very close to my mom, but believe me we’ve had our ups and downs too… My point us, as you grow older, relationships with family will change/heal. Have faith! 🙂

        • Hugs! It’s going to be okay. I’m going to tell my parents that I need space from them until they can contain their rage about how I’m a failure because I’m not their clone. Lol. 🙂 That does make me hopeful! I don’t think it’s going to be any time soon, but maybe in the future.

  1. Sometimes you have to distance yourself from all the negativity. From what I’ve read on your blog and the stories you tell, I think you’re doing ok. I appreciate you being out here on the Interwebz making me laugh, Samantha. Keep doding what you’re doing. 🙂

  2. Sometimes we have to be our own parents and tell ourselves the things we need to hear, things that should have come from them. But they are not perfect, and cannot get out of their ruts. Luckily, you sound free, like a bird, and you are flying. Hugs, Brenda

  3. I’m sorry you’re having to go through this, Samantha, but I’m glad that you recognize the issue is not with you, but with some family members who sound very toxic indeed. Just keep believing in yourself and the wonderful person you are, and find strength in the support of those who love you for you. Hang in there!

  4. that was a heavy one Sam but I totally appreciate your take on it, I get it. I’m sorry about how it turned out with the ones that brought you in, however it does seem as though you are smart enough to have it figured it. I still get hurt by certain family members when I know darn well, it’s the friends I have picked that somehow outshine the ones that should be supporting me. I’m for sure not saying it as well as you do but I think you know what I mean. Even as recent as that art walk I was in, there was a particular family member who hurt my feelings where as some really, really great friends showed their support and love, that’s what I need to focus on. opps…little long. sorry. You bring out emotions in me. That’s good.

    • I’m sorry that you’ve had to go through a similar situation, Tracie. I hope that the family members who hurt your feelings recognize that being family doesn’t excuse bad behavior. I’m glad that this rant evoked your emotions, though. 🙂 I think it’s great that we can all celebrate the people in our lives who are awesome, not out of obligation but because they love us. Lol!

  5. You’re exactly right. Family are people who love and are about you. In their absence grow your relationship and love with your friends and family and they will always be there. And when you get married you will have a whole new family to start fresh with 🙂 Love given from people other than your family is definitely worth it. Keep on pushing and I hate that you have to go through that pain, but they will regret every mistake they’ve made and they have to live with that. Rise like a phoenix out of the fire and you’ll have no worries ❤

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