from now on

your hands find my waist
(where they belong)
as mine clasp
behind your neck
(hearts fluttering fast)
while I tiptoe,
your head dips down
& our lips meet (halfway).
(with a sigh) I think,
I only want to kiss you.
(from now on)

an apology for my unforeseen hiatus

I apologize for not posting lately. A couple weeks ago, my MacBook crashed. The hard drive died after five years. (It outlasted every other computer I’ve had.) Ceddy has fixed it and now it works better than ever. I also have been doing a bit of traveling (Destin & Panama City Beach for Ames’ bachelorette party weekend and LA & San Francisco with Andrea and Shaina), so expect traveling photo posts, as well as new poems and stories.

slowly

slowly,
you will forget
the reflex to build
an emotional fortress
& expect the worst.
you won’t need
to brace yourself
for glaring signs
pushing you to escape.
you won’t miss
the nagging self-doubt
that disappears in time.
you will discover
why countless poems
are written about love.

when it happens to you

when it happens to you,
a thought will cross your mind —
maybe your (smug) coupled up friends were right:
it happens when you’re least expecting it.
when it happens to you,
falling is an inaccurate descriptor —
you have never been more grounded:
yet, for the first time, elation is your baseline
& ecstasy is within (reasonable) reach.
when it happens to you,
you find (steadying) inner peace —
with every passing day, it is clear:
by being together, (each of)
you will become exactly who you were meant to be.

thirteen things no one tells you (& you learn for yourself)

1. you should strive to be good, not unique. (contrary to their name, special snowflakes are everywhere. genuine people aren’t.)
2. once you discover that home is a feeling, not a location, your restlessness dissipates. (you won’t find a reason to plan your next escape.)
3. when you fall in love, your badass armor will crumble. (you will embrace your softness.)
4. it is okay that your parents like you less as each day passes. (they hate everything about you that doesn’t fit their idea of who you should be.)
5. trust your first impressions of everyone you meet. (your bullshit detector gets better as you get older.)
6. do not let people bend your empathetic ear if they can’t reciprocate. (you’re no one’s crutch.)
7. you will tire of the friends who lament about missing you on social media yet don’t keep in touch. (letting them go is easier than you thought.)
8. when someone insults others in order to compliment you, you’re right to be disgusted. (& to decline the intended compliment.)
9. happiness isn’t a constant state. (even the best days have comparatively low points.)
10. your weekend ritual of binge drinking will get boring. (if it doesn’t, your abysmal hangover recovery time will deter you from continuing the tradition.)
11. everything turns out the way it should. (though you won’t see the reason immediately.)
12. you are resilient. (you will bounce back from disappointments quickly because you can’t afford to waste time dwelling.)
13. when you hold yourself (solely) to your own expectations, you will like the person you become. (you may even love her.)

Throwback Thursday: a relaxing rowboat ride in Versailles

The lake by Jardins du château de Versailles. Versailles, France. 09.10.12.

The lake by Jardins du château de Versailles. Versailles, France. 09.10.12.

When Ceddy and I visited Jardins du château de Versailles, we rented one of the rowboats and paddled around the lake. Well…he did most of the paddling. I enjoyed the scenery.

incomparable

there’s a reason that
nothing else felt (quite) right —
& past attempts to find
a meaningful connection
were shallow (at best)
or repulsive (at worst).
patience is a virtue
I don’t possess,
but it was worth
fighting against my nature —
(because of) the sole reason that
nothing else compared —
you.