What we got left is just me and you

“I’m the worst.” Gemma sighed, her shoulders stooped in defeat.

“Should I guess what you did while you wrestle with your guilt?” Adelaide locked the door behind them and sat on her couch.

“Isn’t that what best friends are for?” The taller girl flung herself to the floor.

“Are your theatrics warranted this time?”

“Yes.”

“Last time, you just shrank that cardigan you wore every day freshman year –”

“I lost my car key. Clicker too.”

“Don’t you have a spare?”

“Lost it last year. Instead of getting another made, I swore I’d never lose the original.”

“Where did you last have them?”

“…”

“Gem.”

“Ade, I had half a bottle of tequila –”

“– and lost your car keys in Chad’s pants.”

“Chad’s apartment. Or somewhere between the street and his apartment. I’m not really sure.”

“Call him so he can find them.”

“I dunno know where my phone is.”

“Use mine.”

“Don’t have his number memorized.”

“Y’all hook up whenever either of you need drunken ex comfort sex!”

“I took your advice and started using technology more — I had his number saved to my iPhone favorites.”

“Facebook message him.”

“He’s not on Facebook.”

“Being a Luddite is yet another reason that asshole should be denied your time and pussy.”

The doorbell chimed.

“You should get it, Gem.”

“Your house, Ade. I’m your guest who’s comfortably laying on the floor.”

“You’re closer to the door.”

Fine.”

Gemma didn’t bother checking the peephole before swinging the door open.

“Chad.”

“Gemma.”

“I’ll be in my room avoiding this awkwardness if you need me!” Adelaide left the non-couple in the doorway.

“You forgot your keys and phone when you bolted this morning.”

“How’d you know where I was?”

“You and Adelaide always go to each other for help. Or to talk shit about us terrible dudes.

“We don’t talk shit –”

“…”

Okay, we do — only when it’s well-deserved.”

“I know I messed up before, but I meant it when I said I was sorry.”

“You apologized for hurting me. Really, you just felt bad that you got caught fucking someone else.”

“But –”

“Don’t call me –”

“What about –”

“No drunk texts, no stoned smoke signals, or no sober letters sent by carrier pigeon. It’s over.”

Five minutes later, on Facebook:

Gemma Johnson: The greatest part about losing my keys & phone was witnessing a grown man(child) sprint away from my “menacing” best friend as she threatened to punch him with brass knuckles. 

44 likes, 1 comment

Adelaide Jacinto: #badgirlsdoitwell

sixteen days

There are sixteen days until I turn twenty-six. Twenty-five was an awesome year. I’m hoping that twenty-six is even better. I’m not one to panic about getting older. Like a good scotch, I get better with age.

The cure for insomnia

“Move. You’re suffocating me.”

“Not what you said a few hours ago –”

Shut up.” Jade gasped for air dramatically as Cole rolled off of her.

“You demanded that I hold you all night.”

“Instead, you sprawled on top of me like a starfish.” She rolled her eyes and propped herself up on her elbows. “Get me a glass of water and two Advils.”

“I don’t know where anything is — ” He leapt off the bed as she glared. “Kitchen and medicine cabinet?”

“Your deductive skills never cease to amaze.” When Cole returned, Jade grabbed and downed the water and tablets. “The boy can follow directions! I knew guitar-playing wasn’t your only skill.”

He sat beside her, reaching to tuck an errant strand of hair behind her ear. She frowned and swatted his hand away. “Can we talk –”

“No.”

“It was awesome –”

Average.”

“– and I think we could be…”

“Be what?”

“Great.”

I’m great. You’re okay.”

We could be great together.”

Jade patted his hand. “The only reason we even happened was copious amounts of vodka.”

“An alcohol-induced lapse in judgment?”

“Precisely.” She burrowed into her blankets, closing her eyes. “Plus, what would the rest of the band say?”

“They would say, Finally!

“Your clothes are in the bathroom.”

After trudging there, Cole shrugged his shirt on. “You ripped the buttons off my favorite shirt.”

“I’ll get you a replacement.”

“My car’s still at the bar.”

“Sounds like you’re taking a bare-chested walk of shame.”

“Can you give me –”

“Too tired to operate a vehicle.”

“Maybe this is the cure to your insomnia…”

“Definitely not. Lock the door on your way out.”

“See you at rehearsal?”

Jade’s soft snores answered him. She slept better than she had in years.

“Can you answer a question about The Facebook?”

Old Jim hovered in the doorway of my office, clutching his coffee mug.

“What’s up, Jim?” I gestured for him to enter.

“Can you answer a question about The Facebook?” His brow furrowed as he took a seat.

I suppressed a laugh. “It’s just Facebook, no the.”

“Whatever it’s called!”

“Probably.”

“How can somebody who’s not your friend can message you? And how the hell can they find you?!”

“It depends on your privacy settings. Maybe your daughter tagged you in a photo or something, then they saw you through there.”

“That’s the thing — this woman ain’t even my daughter’s friend!”

I raised an eyebrow. “Who’s Facebook stalking you, Jim?”

Old Jim shifted uncomfortably. “This woman claims we went on a date back in high school ‘n’ I don’t even know her!”

“Ice cold!” I shook my head. “Dumped her after one date and don’t even remember her.”

“I messaged her back sayin’ that she probably told me to hit the road after that time. She gave all these details about the date, too. Shit was fifty years ago, Sam!”

“She’s been holding the torch for you all this time.”

“I sure hope not! I checked out her profile ‘n’ she’s divorced.”

“Maybe she’s going back through her Rolodex or whatever y’all old folks use to keep people’s contact info.”

He huffed, pretending to be offended. “You know I’ve got an iPhone for that!”

“Better warn the wife — this woman’s on a mission.”

“She just wanted to catch up!”

Mm-hm.”

“She did mention that she’d be in town next month.”

“Are you gonna see her?!”

“Hell no!”

“Exes only creep for one of two reasons: to make themselves feel better upon seeing your life is in shambles or to see if they can get back with you.”

“I should just go off the grid like Dusty.”

“I’m sure there’s room in his post-apocalypse bunker for you.”

Belfry of Bruges

Belfry of Bruges. Bruges, Belgium. 09.06.12.

Belfry of Bruges. Bruges, Belgium. 09.06.12.

When Ceddy and I took a trip to Europe, we went to Amsterdam, Bruges, Paris, and Nice. While Bruges wasn’t the most exciting locale, it was picturesque and quiet. (A contrast from the crazy nightlife in Amsterdam, though it wasn’t too different from Amsterdam during the day.) We enjoyed exploring the town and ate mussels & frites. It’s the perfect destination for people who love history, friendly locals, and good beer.

Throwback Thursday: the Wolf Pack at Odessa

The Wolf Pack at Odessa. Athens, Georgia. 06.17.11.

The Wolf Pack at Odessa. Athens, Georgia. 06.17.11.

Ames, Leah, C-Tina, & me a.k.a. the Wolf Pack at Odessa two and a half years ago. I had been back from LA for five months. At the time, we had less hectic schedules and were able to reunite on most weekends. These ladies made college amazing. As is evident by our expressions, we’ve never put up with bitchassness. Though we don’t get to see each other as often, we continue to support each other’s respective paths in adulthood.

“That’s not a piece — that’s a billboard!”

The office was sweltering. Normally, I would wear a cardigan over a sleeveless dress for the entire day, but I was on the verge of melting. Since everyone was out to lunch, no one could be scandalized by my bare arms. I walked to the supplies room and reached for the paperclips on the top shelf.

“Did ya forget to wash or somethin’?” Old Jim asked from the doorway.

I jumped, dropping a box of paperclips that scattered on the floor.  “Geez, Jim — you scared me!”

“Am I gonna hafta talk with HR about your bathing habits?”

“I bathe daily! Do I smell or something?”

“Nah, you’ve got some stuff on your shoulders.”

“Oh!” I laughed as he helped me gather the paperclips. “I have tattoos on my back.”

Really?!

“Yes.”

“How many?”

“Three pieces — one on each shoulder blade and got a new one in between.”

“Of what?”

I pulled up a photo on my phone. I had the middle piece done the day before, so it was still sore. Amanda took a photo of my back after I got it done.

“Holy shit, Sam! That’s not a piece — that’s a billboard!” Old Jim’s eyes widened. “What’s your mama got to say?”

“She knows about the other two, not about this new one.”

“You kids ‘n’ your tattoos ‘n’ rebelliousness.”

“If I was being rebellious, I would’ve gotten some that would be in plain view all the time.”

“Then why’d ya get ’em done?”

“Each of them is for someone awesome in my life. The puzzle pieces heart is for my sister who is autistic (puzzle pieces are the symbol for autism). My best friend from college and I have matching ones of the bear and the tiger, which we got senior year. The one I got yesterday is for my boyfriend and me.”

“What’s the quote say? Is that French?”

“It’s a quote from The Little Prince that says, It is only with the heart that one can see rightly. What is essential is invisible to the eye.”

“At least you got meaningful ones, not some dumb shit.”

“Maybe that should be my next one — Not some dumb shit in plain typewriter font.”

“Your mama would be thrilled about that one.”

“She’s always pissed at me. I might as well do what I want.”

“Are you seriously gonna get more?”

“I’m going to fill up my whole back.”

“You’ll be a mural on the side of a building!”

“Exactly.”

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